And To Think That it Happened on Hazzard's Main St
by H.G. Stewart
Summary: In the telling of a story, the journey from beginning to end is seldom a straight line. One Shot. Complete.


AND TO THINK THAT IT HAPPENED ON HAZZARD'S MAIN STREET

When I settle in front of my keyboard

I can hear my readers say to me,

"Think, ponder, brainstorm

And tell us a story, H.G."

* * *

So I think of a little town called Hazzard

And a family of four so keen

And I think and recall and study

And wonder what's yet to be seen.

* * *

In my stories there have been some outlandish tales

It seems I have successfully turned minnows into whales

So exactly what is it that I can write

As I sit here in front of this keyboard tonight?

* * *

So I review my list of stories

I read them front to back

But as I am the one who wrote them

The plots are easy to track.

So the best way to start a story

Is, in my mind, to plant my feet

Right smack dab in the middle

Of that gazebo on Hazzard's Main Street.

* * *

So far there's nothing to tell of

But that just won't do at all

So perhaps on his way to the bank

I'll have Jesse suffer a nasty fall.

* * *

End of the story? Heavens no, only the start!

Why with such a simple act, the whole family could fall apart!

So begins a story that most writers could probably beat

But hey it's can't be too bad, starting on Hazzard's Main Street.

* * *

Well it's certain the fall is not good at all

But what I think would be really bad

Is if it didn't morph into something

That will make my readers quite mad.

So I'll have Jesse pick up his dropped payment

But before he can rise to his feet

Boss will notice and lock the doors

Of that bank on Hazzard's Main Street.

* * *

So they'll automatically assume that the payment is late

It's happened so many times it's hardly anything to debate

The Dukes will be in a bind but the readers will find it a treat

To watch the events unfold there on Hazzard's Main Street.

* * *

But hold on a minute!

There's something wrong!

Now how would my readers feel?

If the General didn't come in town right now

At an angle on its right two wheels?

Perhaps they wouldn't look at the situation with such dread

If I let Luke figure out what to do about Boss Hogg instead.

* * *

But it isn't too late to make one little change

Perhaps the payment could have been early, now that would be strange!

It'd make them wonder about that commissioner of size

With that white starched suit and them beady little eyes.

* * *

That knowledge would give the story a whole new tone

Why'd Boss close him out? The pondering would make them groan.

Who knows? Could morph into a story that'd be pretty neat.

Most any story is that takes place on Hazzard's Main Street.

* * *

So what will Luke think of? I'm afraid I don't know

But everything should turn out alright.

When he thinks of something he'll summon Bo

And the two will take off fast as light.

And his idea, I am sure, will certainly be grand.

But I can't let them get started 'till they help Jesse stand.

* * *

Now that he's up, perhaps the readers wouldn't mind

If I allowed him to walk on and let the boys follow behind.

So I'll let him deal with Boss and figure out what he's done,

That rich selfish polecat who could eat more than a ton.

When they find out what he's up to will they call Boss a beast?

It's certainly a name that has fit in the past, to say the least.

* * *

But what worries me is this……

Right now even I am in ignorant bliss.

Just what situation can I possibly think up?

That won't involve, for example, the sheriff's mangy pup?

* * *

I'll just send them to the door, that should do the trick

Nah, Jesse's fine now, I won't have the fall make him sick.

So off to the bank they go, walking at top speed

With an elderly man in a red hat taking the lead.

* * *

He knocks on the door, "J.D. I know you're there"

But the Boss just thinks it's grand

To simply ignore all three Dukes

While on the front stoop they stand.

* * *

But then we see that Cooter is inside

And as a matter of fact Daisy is too

Surrounded by favors and balloons and streamers

Colored red and yellow and blue.

And all you ever saw, it beat

Couldn't have said it better about Hazzard's Main Street.

* * *

So Boss loosens the locks and Uncle Jesse appears

To find popcorn and presents and confetti and cheers!

So they've planned a surprise party! Now that ain't too bad.

But there still should be more, so perhaps I'll add…..

* * *

A special gift from Cooter, who made his knife do a trick

As he carved and shaped and polished a brand new walking stick.

Or another from his kids who thought he might like to roam

So they set up a fishing trip to give him time away from home.

* * *

So in the very place they always ran to

Whenever the mortgage was late.

Was the scene of his surprise party

That Jesse thought was so great.

So he made himself a plate and found himself a seat

And enjoyed his birthday cake right there on Hazzard's Main Street.

* * *

The room was full of all his friends

Who greeted him as he perched on his stool

Why it seems that everyone in Hazzard was there

Well except for Maudine the mule.

* * *

Pretty soon the party was over, and Uncle Jesse rubbed his chin

And said to himself 'It can't be over already, Daisy just said 'let's begin.''

But time had indeed passed, and so with a heavy sigh

Jesse rose from his chair and offered his friends his goodbyes.

* * *

And so ends this tale, now get up, go get something to eat.

Then let me know how you liked this story from Hazzard's Main Street

* * *

(That means, submit a review! )

THE END

(A/N Parodied from 'And To Think I Saw It On Mulberry Street' By Dr. Seuss. Some of you expressed your delight in the 'Night Before Christmas Dukes Style' Poem I did and requested I try another, so here it is. As you can see, not a complicated tale, more so an effort to show the thoughts that goes through a writers mind as he/she plans a story. I hope you enjoyed it!).


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